Hooking in

Walt: Write introductions that orientate and hook in my audience

first try

Team 4 is having a trade and enterprise fair to raise money ,and my group is making loom band bracelets,rainbow loom bands and queen Elsa .If you come and buy one of your bracelets then you get a free lolly from your team leader.   

with a ? Do you know what team 4 is going to have? A trade and enterprise fair, and do you know what my group is making? We are making loom band bracelets,rainbow loom bands and queen Elsa.If you come and buy one of your bracelets then you’ll get a free lolly from your team leader.

with a ! Come and buy one! Team 4 is having a trade and enterprise fair to raise money ,and my group is making loom band bracelets,rainbow loom bands and queen Elsa .If you come and buy one of your bracelets then you get a free lolly from your team leader.Get one now!  

Fact Do you know how many Pt’s you need to buy my project?  It coast’s 50 pieces if you buy only one and if you buy two it will cost only 1 pt.Did you also know that my group is making cheap stuff and it only costs 20 pieces for one bracelet.But if you want to buy one of your projects then you must have a 20 pieces and 50 pieces.